I saw a post the other day that really resonated with me. It read, “The healer also needs healing. The planner also needs surprises. The giver also needs to receive. The thoughtful also needs to be thought of. The considerate also needs to be considered.” It made me realize that people often give what they need.
People give others extra of what they are missing from their own lives. If you pay attention, you might see that the friends who make the most jokes are often the saddest. The family that is there for you the most, often has to handle things on their own. The people who give you the most reassurance, often feel a lack of security.
People do this because they know what it feels like to lack these things. Your funny friend knows what it’s like to be sad, so they do everything they can to make others laugh and be happy. Your family knows what the weight of the world on their shoulders feels like so they are there to help you carry that weight. The people giving reassurance know what it’s like to wonder where they stand with people. People know what it feels like to have a lack of love, empathy, reassurance, happiness, healing, etc. in their lives and would do anything to help others not feel that same pain.
Ultimately, you become the person who you needed to help you when no one did.